At this point in my coaching journey, my greatest challenge has been to work on being self-compassion. This has been primarily because I thought I was there and at the same time I hoped that self-compassion works out on itself without conscious and deliberate action towards achieving it. I realized that of all the things I did not nature, one of them has been the skill to feel for myself. For a long time my life has revolved around feeling for other people easily and actually working to ensure that I do the maximum possible to help them feel better whenever I can. But I forgot this girl.
So I reflected on the three things I am committing to in this journey in order for me to scale on. This is part of the process of coming from a place where I was struggling with my past in the last blog post as a way of finding space within myself to rise and be me despite all that has happened. It is not an attempt to perfect anything about me, it is a process of acceptance, affirmation and compassion for the self. Because at this point I really can’t express the three concepts enough I have penned my aspirations for them in a poem. I just want them to be tangible in my memory.
I receive myself as I am
I am a struggle walking towards freedom
I am a woman whether that is understood or not I rise anyway
I am an emotional creature; I express myself to passion and feeling
I meet up with frustration, but triumph is a portion I commit to
I hold on to the past, but my dignified option is the future I will create for myself
All this I receive to the self and accept,
Is where I should be as I am going there?
I see myself there
Self-care being my priority and only option
Harnessing self-joy, uncontainable
I rise and rise there
Even if I carry of the burdens of this world, nothing will move me anywhere else
I am kind
I am kind to my self
I am kind to myself enough to accept, love and take care of myself
All this I receive to the self and accept!!!
I am joy
I am happy
I am alive
I am heartbeat
I am inspired and inspiring
I am hope
I am good at what I do
I am kind to the self
I am living whilst I am alive
I am on a purposeful journey
I engage well
I communicate well
All this I receive to the self and accept!!
I reflected on the need for these three things because I noticed that negative introspection placed me in a fearful place where I could not fully appreciate myself for who I am and for the experiences I have gone through. Personally , the coaching experience is the future for me, it is a journey so far that has taught me slow down and look at the very things I thought I had but were invisible in essence. This explains the reason why I have always felt for a long time that there has been a gap in my life and I just couldn’t place what was missing. Therefore working through this reflection is propelling me to focus more on myself which is still very difficult at this point.
Despite all this I have a picture which I am visualising every day and the beauty of it is that it evolves as I work through myself. It’s a picture of self-joy and genuine happiness that sips into my external relationships. So for me the struggle to discover that self is worth it. !!!